By Jenetta Haim
Alison was feisty as a young woman. She was a straight ‘A’ scholarship student with a critical, possessive mother. Her feisty nature caused her to quit school in an attempt to rid herself of her restrictive, traditional family. However Alison had a predisposition to view success for women as marriage and kids being the pinnacle of life, so in a short while she was dating and then she met Craig. Craig was a dark, handsome man who dressed suavely and a real charmer. He complemented her emotional nature by his calmness and the family approved, so about a year later they were engaged. Six years later Emily was born.
However mum and dad weren’t doing so well.
Alison felt frustrated in a passionless marriage although Craig was her best friend. They made the same mistake so many couples do of looking to the other person to fulfil them. Alison was so angry. A new parent with low self-esteem and they split up.
It took many years for Alison to build her self-esteem. It had not been Craig’s fault. It was the result of an overbearing, traditional family invading her boundaries and stifling her personality. Alison and Craig raised Emily together although they were divorced. Craig remarried. Alison had a de-facto. Craig divorced again. Alison split with her boyfriend and had a new one. Craig became seriously ill and Alison raced to his bedside. They got through it. Emily grew and took her place in the world. However through all the fights and bitter scenarios Craig and Alison remained friends. The kind of friends that have a coffee together, talk about life and the world, ask each other’s advice, support each other when ill and occasionally buy each other a gift.
Turned out Alison and Craig spent their whole lives together, although divorced from each other. Emily had her own life as mum and dad grew old. Alison remarried, the friendship continued. They are always there for each other.
Is that not in some way a testimony to love? Despite the fights, the bad times. Emily grew up with mum and dad and they were always there for each other. Their friends and even strangers, on both sides, tell them even today how shocked they are that a person can be such good friends with their ‘ex’. They are the testimony to prove that we always have a choice of how we treat each other.
So if your relationships are rocky own the part you play in that. Are you frustrated with life or simply overwhelmed? What needs to happen for you to have more love and friendship in your life? Are you so busy every day that you miss the signals? Do you let those opportunities pass you by? Is it fear that holds you back? You have a choice like Alison to have the faith and strength to overcome your negativity and have a loving life. Remember… we always have a choice.