Women’s health issues are often a mystery to the men in their lives. Men often feel helpless to assist their wives or partners through difficult times of menstrual cycles and menopause. Some men are not even aware of the effects it has on female’s emotions, their psyche and thinking, let alone delving into the physical issues. They see the mood swings, the hot flushes, the tiredness and run for cover.
There are a number of things men can do to assist their partners with menopause that will make life easier for both of them. Learn about menopause and be aware of what to expect. It consists of everything from mood swings, hot flushes, night sweats which lead to poor sleep to depression.
The first ways men can help is to know when to seek help. You need to be aware to what is happening and notice if there are any characteristic personality changes. Is she always miserable and upset? Is she depressed and lethargic? Is she not seeing things clearly and withdrawing from reality? All these things are a sign she needs help beyond that of a family chat and a shoulder to cry on.
If your wife is frustrated and the anger seems exaggerated maybe she needs to see a professional, a therapist. Offer to go with her as it will bring a closeness into your relationship. It doesn’t work to just tell her that it will be ok. She is not OK and will only be more frustrated with you. Try to divert her attention from how she feels and relax her. If it doesn’t work then let it go. When she comes back out of her mood she will appreciate that you tried to help.
It is important you realise her physical issues, lack of libido or anxiety is not because of you. Although she may appear to be angry at you and it’s directed at you, you are not the cause of her feeling this way. It’s her hormones. She does still love you and is just going through a tough time which will pass. When she is in a good frame of mind it might be a good idea to share how you feel with her. Talk to her about how she is treating you. Explain that she hurt your feelings the other day when she screamed at you for what once would have been a small issue. Whilst it’s important to be understanding though it does not mean that you open yourself up to abuse. Don’t let her get away with beating up on you all the time.
Remember menopause is just a stage of her life. It will pass. Remember if it gets too much for you that you also can go for help. Supporting each other will get you through. The stage of your life after menopause has much to offer both of you. The time will be yours to create a mature depth in your lives.
